This morning hasn't been one of my best. I went to the cancer center for an appointment and the doctors want me to start chemo as soon as possible. I sat there quite calmly, with my insides screaming, "I don't want to!!!! I don't want to!!!". Chemo is the worst part of cancer. The radiation I can handle. The surgeries I can handle. I can even handle being bald again. But the chemo is beyond me. I need you Lord to take this part. I know you have plans for good. So Lord, for you I do this a second time.

I sat in my car for a long time just letting everything sink in. I could feel my heart beating hard against the inside of my chest as if it were trying to get out. It was saying, " I have to get out of here before they poison me again!"

Still in a state of shock I turned the ignition. The CD in the player began to play.....

"If you need me,
Call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
On that you can depend and never worry
No wind, No rain or winter's cold
Can stop me baby
If you're my goal....."

My Lord was singing to me. I saw in my head my sisters singing and bouncing around a room. They had brightly colored boas hanging from their necks being swung in all directions. My Lord living in them sang to me. Now I was crying and smiling all at the same time. How much more confused can one get?? It seems these days I'm not just feeling one set of feelings. It's more like a compilation of feelings. I called His name out loudly and tears came harder.

Our Lord is alive and well in Arlington! He gushes out of us with such force.

I drove into the neighborhood and there they were. Sarah and Sheila. Exactly what I needed. Sisters. They encouraged me and shared my pain. Sarah pointed out to me that our tears are your tears Lord. I felt better having seen them and talked to them. I know that the Lord answered the cry of my heart. He gave me words from a CD to call His name. So I called. And there He was in my sisters.

You, Lord. It's all about You!